Tuesday, February 16, 2010

It's Just Me

I can see through the floorboards now
and the tiles lost their glow,
posters falling from the walls,
with the plaster close in tow.

my window got a web,
surprised it stands at all;
the frame's been gone day now,
the staircase and the hall.

I'm seeing static 'round the edges,
margins growing every hour...
things drifting about now:
reality losing power.

my computer turned inside out,
data like sand on the floor...
memories that don't want to be anymore...
the jam's gone--you can't slam that door.

I've got thunder in my head
and lightning in my veins
my own personal storm cloud:
wherever I go it rains.

my words have come alive,
all the truths and all the lies.
no longer life that's killing me,
just every time she dies.

In my head I'm eighteen again,
but she's twenty and in that box,
she grew and nothing changed--
no key will open that lock.

In my head I'm five,
and they won't play anymore.
I'm not what you think I ought to be,
though I long wished for nothing more.

In my head we grew old together
In my head we both died young
In my head has spilled into the air,
lyrics waiting to be sung.

I forgot what you felt like
but remembered what you saw,
forgot where we left our wings,
but the wound still stays raw.

There's nothing left of this room,
and less left of the world.
My knuckls no longer whitened,
no longer tightly curled.

I'm just drifting now,
for all that's left is me:
my lives, my lies, my fantasies,
my losses, my prophecy.